“Death and life are in the power of the tongue …” (Proverbs 18: 21)
The unbridled tongue is a powerful and dangerous weapon. An unrestrained tongue can create strife and division in the family, in church and among friends.
As Christians, we should not use our lips in a sinful way to hurt or slander another, but to honour God and minister to those around us. The apostle Paul exhorts us to speak gracious words that will edify our hearers (Eph 4: 29). What Biblical principles can we apply that will help us to speak wholesome words of hope, encouragement and blessing?
1. Think and speak well of others
Learn to cultivate kind thoughts of people so that we can speak favourably of them. Note the apostle Paul’s exhortation to focus our minds on that which is true, honourable, fair, pure and amiable: “Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things” (Phil 4: 8). One whose thoughts are directed to things that are well- pleasing to God will not speak negatively of others.
To speak well of our neighbour, we need to cultivate a loving heart towards him (Lev 19: 16-18). Love covers a multitude of sins and helps us to overlook our neighbour’s faults: “Hatred stirreth up strifes: but love covereth all sins” (Prov 10: 12). “Love is the great principle of harmony; it disposes men to cover the faults of their neighbours, and deal leniently with them” (Family Bible Notes).
2. Be slow to speak
Another way to govern our tongue is to be “slow to speak”: “… let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath” (Jas 1: 19). When we speak hastily, we may speak foolishly, offensively or inappropriately (Prov 29: 20). We may not have considered the issue or situation fully, and reacted with rash words. We may have failed to think through our motives, and whether our words are loving, kind, necessary and true. It is therefore prudent to check ourselves before we speak.
3. Pray specifically for God’s help
Due to our depraved nature, we are not able to tame our tongue by our own effort: “The tongue can no man tame; it is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison” (Jas 3: 8). But the Bible tells us that we can “do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me” (Phil 4: 13). Pray daily for God’s grace to guard our lips. Acknowledge our need to depend upon Him alone.
Knowing his propensity to speak evil, the psalmist David prayed that the Lord might keep his lips from sin: “Set a watch, O LORD, before my mouth; keep the door of my lips” (Ps 141: 3). He was particularly concerned that he should not utter malicious words against King Saul – “the Lord’s anointed” – though the latter had been relentlessly seeking his life (I Sam 24: 6).
“David feels that with all his own watchfulness he may be surprised into sin, and so he begs the Lord Himself to keep him. When Jehovah sets the watch the city is well guarded: when the Lord becomes the guard of our mouth the whole man is well garrisoned” (Treasury of David).
4. Resolve not to sin with our lips
In another psalm, David expressed his resolve not to transgress with his lips: “Thou hast proved mine heart; thou hast visited me in the night; thou hast tried me, sand shalt find nothing; I am purposed that my mouth shall not transgress” (Ps 17: 3). The psalmist was determined that the Lord Who knew his motives “shalt find nothing” worthy of condemnation.
Like the psalmist, let us purpose in our heart not to sin with our lips. The Lord Who is the great Searcher of hearts, knows our thoughts and intents. If He were to examine our hearts and our words, can we say with the psalmist that He “shalt find nothing” to condemn us? Let us check our heart’s motives before we speak. Like King David, let our prayer be: “Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O Lord, my strength, and my redeemer” (Ps 19: 14). May the Lord grant us grace to keep our lips from sin. May our speech honour the Lord and bring glory to His name.
– Pastor